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[scarcastically]

( you can reach erik "killmonger" stevens / n'jadaka here! )

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[scarcastically]

Great. Do mine too. I wouldn't have a clue where to start.

[ he says it so casually that it can't be sad!! ]

[shiro2hero]

Nothing? Not even when you were a kid?

[buddy that's still kind of sad]

[scarcastically]

[ a beat. ]

I wasn't a kid for very long.

[shiro2hero]

[He shuts his eyes for a second.]

I'm sorry. [And, like everything else he's said, it's sincere. No empty platitudes here.]

We can change the subject, if you want.

[scarcastically]

Nah, it's not a big deal. We all know this kind of story.

[ he takes a swig of the jug. ]

[shiro2hero]

Yeah. I guess we do, huh?

[He doesn't know the details. Just that Erik's hinted at a few things that make him think ... wherever this guy comes from, it's not a peaceful one.]

[scarcastically]

[ erik wipes his mouth with his sleeve. ]

More or less, anyway. And I've never been big on rehashing.

'Sides, it'll put you off drinking. And I'm not about that.

[shiro2hero]

If that changes... you know where to find me.

[He won't push. But he'll make himself available, if the need ever arises.]

I thought stories were supposed to help the drinking.

[scarcastically]

Yeah?

You an expert on drinkin' now?

[shiro2hero]

Not even a little.

All I know is what they show on TV.

[scarcastically]

[ erik's curious now, but he plays it loosely. ]

What does TV tell you then?

[shiro2hero]

That people drink and complain about their... everything, really.

Lives, families, partners... [He shrugs.] But that’s TV.

[scarcastically]

[ don't ask about his anime collection. ]

So you got into it? That whole thing they spin for you on TV?

[shiro2hero]

[Be proud of your anime bro]

Nah. Not so much... complaining about things never really helps, does it?

I guess I default to it because it’s the only example I’ve got that isn’t celebratory drinks. If that makes sense.

[scarcastically]

I still can't believe you've never been out drinkin'. Like, not even a little.

[shiro2hero]

The price you pay for getting too dedicated to your work, probably.

[Among other things.]

[scarcastically]

That's supposed to be unhealthy, y'know.

[ he passes the jug over to shiro. ]

But I guess I can be your landmark intro into this.

[shiro2hero]

Supposed to be.

[Couldn't have been worse than the other unhealthy things in his life.]

This is the part where I say I'm honored all over again.

[He'll accept the jug. With a... decidedly small drink from it.]

[scarcastically]

You'll wear the word out at this rate. It's nothing that big.

[ or maybe it is. it's hard to tell with erik, who appears casual and easy-going but seems murky in the inside, his thought processes hard to decipher. ]

[shiro2hero]

Then I'll find a new one. There's hundreds of them.

[He's not really sure how else he's supposed to express... well. Feeling like he has someone to keep his head on straight. It's too easy to get caught up in everything running through it, without anyone familiar here.]

Because I do mean it. That... I appreciate having you around.

[scarcastically]

[ appreciation, huh? erik has had that, he imagines. higher-ups who notice the work he does, cut-throat, efficient. lethal in a way they can understand and utilize. they didn't care where he came from, what he felt. and erik didn't mind that. he didn't want the questions or anything more.

didn't he? ]

You'll wear out that one too.

[shiro2hero]

You really think so?

[It's quieter than the last few questions have been. His eyes flicking up to meet Erik's. There's uncertainty behind them, mixed up in all the honesty.]

... Look, if you need me to dial it back, I... I'll give it a shot. [Because? Because schooling himself would be worth it. To keep someone he considers a friend at ease.]

I'm used to being the guy holding everyone up. Kind of hard to quit.

[scarcastically]

Nah, I've never been someone who needs things dialed down. But you don't look all that confident.

[ devil's advocate to his own feelings, in a way. but that's why he came up here. there's something worming inside erik's dead chest and he's not comfortable with it. ]

Maybe you just need to let it out, man.

[shiro2hero]

Mostly because I know myself. I know I'm probably going to slip up, even when I try and hold back.

[He's just too used to expressing feelings. Like pride and gratitude.]

Think so?

[scarcastically]

Yeah, man. Reinvent yourself. It's a brave new world.

[ kinda. ]

Why hold yourself back?